How to Help Your Strong-Willed Child Flourish
Let’s face it: some kids are strong-willed and set in their ways. Their want and need to be right and not vary from change can sometimes feel intense. It’s not uncommon to struggle with the demands of being a parent of a strong-willed child. However, it can be, and should also be, a rewarding and positive experience.
This article will focus on tips for how to parent a strong-willed child. We will focus on staying positive and firm while providing guidance and patience.
Strong-Willed Child Traits
Before we dive in, it’s important to understand what characteristics a strong-willed child may exhibit. Many strong-willed children will often challenge you, be called difficult or stubborn, or have an angry side to them.
It’s important to understand that strong-willed children are not necessarily “bad” kids. They’re just different from other kids, and they can flourish and succeed with positive parenting. Traits and characteristics include:
Being impatient
Being overly independent
Being bossy, opinionated, or controlling
Being argumentative
Tips to Help Parent Strong-Willed Children
Now that we know the traits of a strong-willed child, it’s time to review tips to help parent them healthily and effectively.
Form routines instead of rules
Strong-willed children typically ask why and push back against requests. This is especially so if they think something is a rule. When you establish a routine, you can take the authoritative part of the request away. It also helps make it look like you’re not forcing a rule, which can cause pushback.
One example of this can be, instead of telling a child that the rule is they need to do all of their homework before they can play, try to make it a routine that you do homework, then it’s playtime.
Focus on the three Cs
The three Cs of parenting can benefit all children, but they are especially helpful when parenting a strong-willed child. It’s important to be clear, calm, and consistent in all aspects of parenting.
Be clear when explaining rules and boundaries.Rather than spending your time arguing and nagging, the children must know the rules and the consequences of their actions. In this step, you must be able to reinforce what you’ve discussed.
Be calm when times get stressful and tough. It’s important in these times to remind yourself that you’re the adult and authoritative figure, and you need to set a positive example. Taking a deep breath can be a quick way to relieve stress and stay calm.
Be consistent in rules and boundaries. Try to remain consistent so that both you and your children know the rules, what’s expected of them, and how to maintain a positive relationship within the family. As the saying goes, consistency is key. This teaches the child that being in charge is not negotiable. It also can help teach them boundaries and how to respect adults or anyone in charge.
Pick your battles
Sometimes, it’s not worth arguing. If your child wants to combine two outfits and you’re just staying home for the day, let them combine the outfits. It could also be a situation where the child isn’t hungry for breakfast, so you give them a small snack instead, but you tell them they will need to eat another meal at some point.
Offer choices
Many strong-willed children want to be in control at all times. One easy way to make them feel like they’re in control is to give them choices when possible. This could be picking out two outfits and letting them choose which one to wear. It could also be picking out two options for breakfast, lunch, or dinner and letting them choose.
If you or someone you know has a strong-willed child, therapy can help you process your emotions and give you the tools to parent well. Please reach out today to see how we can assist you and your child.
