Overcoming Barriers to Trust in Relationships
Trust is key in all types of healthy relationships. However, it can sometimes be hard to build trust, even with someone you care about. If you've had the experience of someone betraying your trust in the past, for example, you might fear that allowing yourself to trust again will only lead to further pain.
Other things that can contribute to trust issues include mental health conditions, attachment styles, and experiences you had as a child. Whatever the cause, barriers to trust in a relationship can be damaging. Fortunately, they can also be overcome. Let's take a look at some important steps to take toward overcoming barriers to trust and strengthening your relationship.
Be Honest with Yourself
One of the best ways to overcome these barriers to trust in your relationships is to first look inward. Take the time to reach a better understanding of which past experiences are influencing your current feelings around trust. This is an essential first step in overcoming barriers in your relationships.
There are several methods you can use to learn more about yourself. Even the act of setting aside time to think about feelings without pressure can be revealing. Some people find it easier to process thoughts and emotions through dialogue; in this case, you could enlist the help of a close friend or family member to help you explore.
After taking the time to identify the root cause of discomfort with trust, you can start the process of healing. Having a strong understanding of your own feelings will greatly improve your ability to have close conversations with your partner.
Be Honest with Your Partner
Honesty with your partner is another key component to overcoming trust issues in a relationship. Open communication in which everyone feels heard and understood is vital. Try setting up a time to talk when both of you are in a relaxed state of mind and there are minimal distractions.
Give each other the chance to speak about your feelings and any changes you'd like to see to improve your relationship. Make an effort to listen closely to your partner, and expect the same in return. Open and honest communication is a foundation of trust.
Set and Respect Boundaries
Boundaries with a partner might seem unnatural to some people, but they're actually extremely important in a healthy relationship. Boundaries are what help to protect your overall mental health and wellness. Make sure that you and your partner are working to respect each other's boundaries. This establishes mutual respect and is a powerful way to build trust.
Be Patient
Make sure that you and your partner are being patient with each other and giving each other grace during this time. Trust isn't something that's built overnight. It takes time.
If you and your partner are both willing to put in the time and effort towards rebuilding the trust as well as your relationship, you'll start to see progress each and every day. Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint. Place value on progress over perfection.
Seek Additional Support
No matter how perfect you and your partner are for one another, relationships are complicated. You and your partner are two completely different people who have chosen to come together to form one dynamic unit.
Relationships can benefit from bringing in an outside third party who can see things from a different point of view. This is where working with a therapist in individual or couples therapy can help. Interested in learning more about how working with a mental health professional can help you build a stronger relationship? Reach out today to schedule your first appointment!
About the Author
Christian Bumpous, LMFT, LPC is a licensed mental health therapist and founder of Therapie, Nashville’s leading destination for busy professionals seeking to thrive in life, work, and relationships. Christian specializes in helping professionals navigate life transitions, improve relationships, and overcome challenges like depression and anxiety. With a tailored approach that meets the unique needs of high-performing individuals, he offers therapy sessions in both English and German, available in-person or online.